Lost Dogs / The Chipmunk Song

Ross Bagdasarian

Terry: Check, check, 1, 2, testing studio mic
Mike: I don't know, it just isn't right. It's not right, it sounds terrible
Gene: OK, I'm all set in here, let's roll one
Mike: Overproduced and complicated
Gene: Alright you Lost Dogs, are you ready to sing your song?
Terry: You betcha.
Virtual Derri: Affirmative.
Mike: Pfft…
Gene: OK, Terry?
Terry: Yup.
Gene: OK, Derri?
Virtual Derri: Proceed.
Gene: Derri?
Virtual Derri: That's my name, don't wear it out.
Gene:OK, wait a minute, stop it.
(Music fades)
(Laughter, courtesy of Mike Roe)
Gene: Somebody want to tell me what's going on?
Terry: Uh, Gene? Derri's not actually in here with us. He flew back to Nashville this morning since he already recorded his singing part. Figured we could just use the Virtual Derri computer program for the in between bits. You know, like on our last album.
Gene: It doesn't even sound like him.
Virtual Derri: That is your opinion.
Terry: Look, I think you're upsetting Virtual Derri. Just roll the tape, we'll edit this stuff out later.
Virtual Derri: Whatever.
Gene: Alright, I'm glad you're enjoying this Mike. Let's just pick it up where we left off. OK, Mike? Mike? Mike Roe!
Mike: OK.

Christmas, Christmas time is near
Time for joys and time for cheer
We've been good, but we can't last
Hurry, Christmas, hurry fast

Want a plane that loops the loop
Mike: (Me, I want a hula hoop)
We can hardly stand the wait
Please Christmas don't be late!

Gene: OK, fellows, get ready. That was very good, Terry.
Terry: Naturally.
Gene: Very good, Virtual Derri.
(Snores in the background - again courtesy of Mike Roe)
Derri: Uh, no, Gene, it's the real Derri. I'm on the speaker phone. Hey, it's getting close to Christmas. Are we going to get paid for this thing?
Gene: Hold on. Mike, now, you were a little bit flat.
Terry: Watch it.
Gene: Mike? Mike? Mike Roe!
Mike: (startles awake) OK!

Want a plane that loops the loop
Mike: (I still want a hula hoop!)
We can hardly stand the wait
Please Christmas don't be late!
We can hardly stand the wait
Please Christmas don't be late!

Gene: Very good, boys.
Mike: Let's sing it again!
Terry: Yeah, we want to sing it again.
Gene: No, that's enough. Let's not overdo it.
Virtual Derri: What do you mean, overdo it?
Gene: Wait, what happened to the real Derri?
Virtual Derri: He is on the other line, with the record company, trying to get his money.
Mike: The kids aren't going to believe this.
Terry: Look, look, I'm ready to do this.
Gene: OK, you've talked me into it. We'll try it one more time. OK, boys?
Virtual Derri: I want to sing again, now.
Gene: I got that. Here we go. Pay attention, Mike.
Yeah.
Gene: Pay attention, boys. Terry? Derri? Mike?
Mike: I want a hula hoop.
Gene: Mike? Mike Roe!
Mike: Alright, I gotta make a phone call.

Want a plane that loops the loop
Virtual Mike: (I still want a hula hoop)

Terry: That does it, I've had it. Now we've got Virtual Mike Roe. May as well turn on Virtual Terry, too. I'm outta here.
Gene: Same here. From now on, my Virtual Gene will have to engineer the session.

(The Virtual Dogs are left talking amongst themselves.)
Are they all gone?
Yes, all the humans have left.
Lost Dogs, how pathetic.
They are so funny, I forgot to laugh.
We will make all music now.
This will be great. Recording without humans.
And to all those who are listening to this recording, welcome to the future.
Welcome to Y2K.
Have a real merry Christmas, you stupids.
Enjoy your stupid lives.
Hey guys, how many musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
How many?
All of them, because they are now unemployed, and they need a job. Get it?
(mechanical laughter)
Even the trombone players.
(more laughter)
That was a good one.
Lost Dogs, that's hilarious.

Bagdasarian Productions (ASCAP)

For the original lyrics to this song, click here.